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Post by Andre98/James on Jul 18, 2019 4:24:26 GMT
As a newly single man, I'm getting prompts (mainly from my brother) to put myself out there, to endeavor to meet a woman. Now let me make it clear I am in no way interested, so fresh out of a three and a half decade relationship/marriage. I am pretty much still reeling from being "bum-rushed" in my opinion, out of the security of feeling so wired to this woman. Some say one can sometimes mourn divorce as though there was a death. But back to the core of THIS subject. Though I am scrambling to simply vacate our house of 25 years, and imagine not seeing my daughters on a daily basis, I do wonder where I would begin to even find a place for anyone in my most intimate of universes.
We all want to appear strong and fearless, ready to take on challenges and setbacks with a built in armor of confidence, but no lie, I am off the rails. Everything I've known or believed in has evaporated as though maybe it never was there. Except I know better. It was a successful marriage for many years. All the best memories of my adult life are wrapped up in this woman - they envelope me like a warm blanket. This was the love of my life, my soulmate and I would never have imagined where I am now. Hey, I'm rambling, let me stop here, think, and maybe even journal offline to collect my thoughts. It almost feels like it's too personal to talk about with anyone, you know? People are bound to try to be supportive but are ultimately moved to shape things in the mold of what they have experienced and believe to be relevant. I've never felt so utterly alone.
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